fffffffffffffffuck you if you only knew how much i think about you and how much i wish i could talk to you and how many idiotic shits ive posted on the innernets in hopes that youd see them, because i want to communicate so bady. fuck how pathetic right? things blow why cant life be perfect. see, SEE SEE SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for ME
maybe i write to force myself to not do something stupid
its funny because usually that happens in a tangible journal but now my brain has technolofied
dont you just wish sometimes that the apocalypse would happen
lets think of a story real quick
okay subject is: fans
the fan was fannin and fannin the precious yelpy baby princess on the hottest of summer days. he got tired and then came to life. why the fuck do i keep fanning this little baby if she doesnt even know what appreciation is?!?!??! the fan thought
maybe i will switch my oocupations. he thought again. so he did. he got ut of his fan-ly confines and walked over to the screetching baby and said “dude you gotta stop screetching its just horridly hrrid” and the baby was like “ugd;iudfbw;iufbaeub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
the fan thought of a solution and thought of it quick
he jumped into the baby’s carriage and became a teething tool
i’ve got a plump lil kitten purrin on my leg. in between purry kitty and leg are plumpery pants and really fuzzy warm blankie. its the softest warmest thing. on my toes there is a pup. she is biting her tail-base cuz she’s itchy as heck.
i feel really cozy and warm and nice and weird. gotta pee REAL BAD but im too comf to get up.
imagine if thinga were ideal right now i’d be nuz nuz nuzzlin and finishing up my wooden doll man and asking you for your opinion on his flowery queen dress
maybe there would be moar beer too
jezuz fk i miss
jzs fk i wanna speak out loud becase i forgot wut my voice sounds like but if i try really hard i can remember its a little low and a littl nasally
i wonder what other people think of my voice when they hear it
my nails are really nice for scratcing. they are mega strong and healthy and if this job position exisited i would apply; nasal excavator
i am so excited for lifes to happen
life is gr8
life is slow on LI but the city is mega awesome and fun and loud and anonymous and thrilling and beautiful and fuck
i miss it
why am i listening to devandra banhart righ now
probaly just to make myself feel cux ive been avoiding feel at all costs for the past forever, i guess thats my personality or something
life is weirdman life is weird
i feel helpless like a lil amoeba squirmin around by its lonesome right now
i miss FIT i actually like that school a lot
this is how my brain works, okay, get this guys, are you the type of guy to think in words or just in thoughts? i asked that to many a person and they said they just think of it in thought, no words or images, just pure thought. how the heck?!?!?!?! i wanna try but i only think in conversation! i guess i got all these pent up conversation in me that i saved
they are like convo sick-days or something and i gotta usem or else they will go to wastwe so i jut talk to myself in my own head!!!!!
woa its really weird, i wouldnt be babbling all this shit on tumblr if i could say it out loud
isnt that sorta sad
well i think it is
shpongle is cool.
i think i could live in game of thrones. i’d be a mix of the khaleesi and arya stark
fuck that show is delicious i think i grew up in the WRONG ERA ENTIRELY
maybe not. it doesnt really make sense for anyone to say they grew up in the wrong era because they wouldnt exisit theyd have a completely different persona
theres alotta liquid dripping and wishing it could form into stalagTITES on the roof of my brain
thats how uninsprired i am it actually hurts
i forgot how to doa ntyhing
my brain is mushballing faster and faster until a huge brainman (like a snowman) is formed woah that’d be a cool sight!!!!!!!
i could type forever and ever and ever
EEK I just remembered all my dreams last night oh nooooooo
i saw this video of tonsil stone removal on the interwebs last night and it haunted me in my dreams. along with past horrid things and almost falling off that roof i was drunkenly teetering off on new years ohhhh no dont remind me brain stopstopstop
wow my thoughts have slowed down to the pace i type which is really cool and sad at the same time
on a side-note my mom insists on subjecting me to millionaire matchmaker WHY MAHM YOU’RE DOIN IT ON PURPOSE
"work" was real slow so the boss lady let me leave early and now i resort to my usual winter break night routine: talking to myself on this shittidtioc blog and watching game of thriggity thrones and squishin my fat kittycats belly
retching stoic-ly like a bafoon-melon gives one hope that vermillion grange-meisters squeeze out tiny baby fat finch skeletons who turn into mules and sell gallant looking girl scout s’moa’s to unyielding grumbly pirate-imps. that hurts sometimes but if you take some advil and drink some pomegranate rose-hip tea with a side order of five guys fries you’ll be all better
its kinda funny when people try to advertise their lives as being perfectly perfect over the internet when in reality they hate themselves and everyone around them
is that hypocritical of me to say since i have a tumblr and post shits on it?
i mean, to justify my hypocrisy I WAS THAT GUY ONCE
AND I STILL HAVE A FACEBOOK
but now its really funny to witness that shit from the other end and actually realize,
I LIKE MY LIFE AND DON’T FEEL THE NEED TO ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT IT!
(i guess its even more hypocritical to be informing ALL MY MANY FANS of this lack of care I have)
anyway enough of that self justification
MY HOUSE IS DOWNRIGHT HAUNTED, I TELL YEH
i heard a murderer outside i swear it!
i hope this ghost is reading over my shoulder right now and putting me on his “people NOT to terrorize” list
i’ve been on my best behavior since the first ghostly encounter and have been in the clear
maybe im just going insane because all ive been doing for the past week is writing on this idiotic blog in hopes Someone Special will read it, watching game of thrones, scrolling through endless innernets of all sorts and eating garbage and sometimes dragging myself outside to wander around the mealy dreary quiet ass streets of bellport village while listening to music that wont allow me to feel anything sad or lonely (because being here does that, at least a little bit) other than those sad little spurts of time and chronic boredom i’d have to say i’m proud of myself for forcing my stupidly antisocial (bellportian edition) ass to socialize (more times than i expected yay me!) and live through this weirdly weird winter break (not that its over, sigh)
woah its so quiet
the other night me and kyra went to bellport bay before seeing the hobbit (humminahumminahummina) and it was a new moon and when i squinted my eyes at the edge of the dock i felt like i was floating in space. the sky melted into the perfectly glassy puddle of water also known as the great south bay and i was hovering inside a dome of stars and comets and birds and planes with no shadows to prove my human nature